How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
