thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
