how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
