Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
