I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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