I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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