Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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