Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
