omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
