just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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