I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
