All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
