Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I touched a dick in church today
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
