Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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