Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
