just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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