everyone is single if you try hard enough
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize