I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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