Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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