I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize