hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He kissed a someone with a penis
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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