I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
