Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
