yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
