she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
