tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
