new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
