i used baking grease as lip gloss
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
