I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
