I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
