Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
