He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
