the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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