I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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