This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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