He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
