This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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