I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize