there was a trapeze. enough said
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
