do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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