my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm just crazy horny about you
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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