I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is it penis luge time yet?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
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