I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
