I'm jealous of your bromance
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
