Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
