If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
