question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
