Non-Jews are for practice
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
