He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
