I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
