I must be too annoying 4 u.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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