I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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