so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
