Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
