Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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