I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I cannot find my penis.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
