Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm always down for nudity.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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