God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
