so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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