Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
