i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
