their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just invented taco cereal.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
