we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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