I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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