First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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