I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
