Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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