i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
